


You Looking At Me

by tadpole_party



Category: The Strange Case of Starship Iris (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, funky little character reflection, this is messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26601205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tadpole_party/pseuds/tadpole_party
Summary: A reflection on Arkady Patel as a character.This is my first fic so please be nice.
Relationships: Violet Liu/Arkady Patel
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	You Looking At Me

Arkady had not had a happy life. Not really. She was Arkady Patel dammit. She was self made. This was her place and she planned to spit in the face of anyone who tried to take that away from her. She had her family and they loved her. A care that she hadn’t prepared for. She would look around, wide eyed, the company and domesticity of how she now lived swallowing her whole. The place and people radiated care. She was helpless to it. 

She knew how to love them back or so she told herself. Protection, an aggressive companionship, they would know daily how much she would give for them. It felt desperate. She knew that she was safe, that they were safe, but the fear of loss once you get something you never knew you could want persisted. 

Her family knew how she loved them. Either aggressively, she would take a bullet, would give herself up without hesitation, or quietly, a late night conversation, a cup of tea, a song. Arkady loved her family, her three people, and she never knew that she could want something more.

Then something more was there. In the form of a petty and brave and curious scientist and Arkady did not know what to do. The way Violet looked her wasn’t something she was accustomed to. Her family loved it. The way Arkady rolled her eyes and blushed and ignored the conversation. Her family loved Violet. She was family now too. But god did Arkady want her to be more.

Arkady studied how Violet studied her. Inquisitive and nervous. She assumed that Violet was afraid of her. She didn’t blame her; scum of the galaxy, right? But there was more than just fear in Violet. There was an overwhelming urge to know and to care. Arkady concluded that was where her beauty really came from, her kindness and her curiosity. Arkady could feel herself slipping and it had only been a few days. 

Then things got bad. No, not bad, they had done bad, her family had been through bad. Arkady knew bad. Things got worse. End of humanity type worse. Violet smiled at her that night. She reached over and grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Arkady forgot to breathe. The smell of the moonshine and Violet’s voice in her ear. Arkady could cry from it all. 

She had tried to explain the opera to her family. Sana kind of understood, she always understood. Sana found it amusing, something pretty, something enjoyable, a piece of joy in a dark place. Brian understood it from an academic sense, a powerful, important piece of work, something that had helped shape culture. Krejjh liked it when people would talk about what they loved, Krejjh could understand that. Their love and appreciation for it was poetry and Krejjh enjoyed Arkady’s passion. 

Arkady had tried to explain opera to Violet. Her pretty eyes looking at her, wanting answers, to know Arkady deeply and wholeheartedly. Arkady could barely move with her eyes on her, but somehow she did. Violet didn’t understand where Arkady came from, but she knew it was important. Her entire family did. 

Bad things got worse. Standing in front of Violet, a gun to her head. Trying not to be blinded by the pain or the panic. Violet’s smart and kind eyes looking at her. The fear in Violet’s posture, the panic and anxiety, something that she did not deserve to feel. That no one deserved to feel. She saw all that and more in the face of the woman she had far off dreams about dancing with under the stars and taking to see her favorite operas. She felt desperately sad first, she did not want to die here. She wanted to kiss Violet slow and sweet and get that future they both deserved. Then she got angry. 

Arkady’s anger mixed with love mixed with pain mixed with worry. Layered and layered on top of each other. Until she was safe at the ship. With two new people, new family. She felt the urge to cry, the emotions leaving her body. Violet’s eyes worried and so filled with love on her. She wondered how Violet’s lips would taste and had to stop herself from asking and finding out. 

Eventually she got her answer. Like mint and warmth and calm nights and smart conversations and love. Arkady was overwhelmed with the love. Like her operas, like her mint, there was so much, so big and so small. She felt it in Violet’s breath on her cheek and Violet’s hands on her hips. Arkady wept with the care and love of it all.


End file.
